So I can't remember my childhood that well. My mom and youngest sister (maybe the older ones too) think it is repression. I think it is binge drinking in college. Whatever the case I do sometime recall things when I am given the proper retrieval key.

On Six Feet Under last week, the Fisher family dealt with the loss of a brother and a son. It caused me to remember some things about going through my father's death. I was only 14, and maybe I have repressed much of those memories, but while watching that episode I strongly remembered the feeling of not wanting to be seen.

I remember my friends from church youth group coming over a day or two days after the worst day of my life, and I remember running upstairs and "hiding"... I felt bad and appriciated how hard it must of been for them to come over, but I just wasn't ready to deal with people.

I also remember walking into a church full of friends and family and not wanting to make eye contact with anyone, and the crushing weight of everyone's eyes on me.

I was talking to my youngest sister, Mandy, about this last night, and she told me that she often thinks about walking out of the church, down the aisle. And remembering my Mom's brother Bob walking her and my oldest sister down the aisle. I don't remember who I walked with... either my Mom or my uncle.

No real point to my story... just wanted to write it down... in hopes of remembering more, maybe.